Wow.

so....i think someone has just committed themselves to me...for reasons other than sexualnosity.

Tim likes me. Like...really likes me. And I'm in a state of shock tbh.

This is amazing- truly it is, don't get me wrong. But there are so many things that are wrong about this whole 'relationship' thing:

• Tim is 18 on July 2nd
• He goes to University in September
• He's so so so lovely
• I form attachments to people super quickly
• This is going to break my heart

Are those reasons enough to keep me from being with him though?

Do I think I'm going to survive another heartbreak?

Well, i honestly don't know. I don't know what to do.

The real problem behind all this is, I think that i may love him already.

x

finished.

So...i finished my exams before Half Term today. I swear...this feeling is GREAT. Goodbye Stress for another few days. mwhahahaha.

Was talking to Jess in lunch just now and realise that i have been mis-informed. Tim, is not in fact a man whore as Sophie has told me. Apparently he has not has sex or ever had a girlfriend for that matter. Crikey. I've got to be nice to this one then.

Not that i can say that I've had that much experience with either of these topics over the duration of my 16 years on this planet...but then again...if he's never had a GF or sex for that matter- he must really like me.

*shocked face*


MUST. NOT. READ. IN. TO. THIS.

ohh lord help me.

x

New developments

TIM. LIKES. ME.

wtf just happened?

lmaooo...i seriously can't believe this- apparently the hot blond guy from Saturday (see last post) likes the look of me. HAHA. this is such a compliment. also...the fact that i kind of like the look of him as well just adds to the excitement of it all. I mean...Saturday- i kind of noticed something, but i just put it to the back of my mind. He was meant to have been set up with Katie anyway.. lol.

I'm seriously SO touched by it all. Apparently Tim told Glyn- his mate at the Saturday thing who then told Jess who then told Sophie who then told me. hahha this is such a twisted plot.

Is it weird that I'm so happy? :D

OK...just must not get my hopes up. play it cool. the 'ushe'. haha. i can just tell I'm going to fuck this up. God be with me- i don't think i could handle another failed relationship.
*says a mini prayer*

Thank you world :)
x

She's such a charmer

gotta love Kings of Leon.





Best day out today in London :D Went to Hyde park with Holly and all her other mates for a huge picnic and general day of fun. Twas fabb. Met so many new people and I wasn't even the social reject (for once...I'm usually the rejected quiet one making flirty eye contact with people way out of my league and never have the balls to go up to them and say 'hi'). But anyway...i met the infamous Mikey Yomans (no idea how to spell that) who apparently slept with one of the girls from my school in a hotel room whilst Holly and another mate of mine was in there during the Model United Nations weekend. He was so awfully nerdy it just made me laugh. But i can see (weirdly enough), why the girls like him...well...i say 'girls'. I mean whores.





*shifty look*





There WAS a beautiful blond guy there though...funny teeth, but he was a Russel Howard look alike. lovely lovely boy. AND i could tell he had a GORGEOUS back underneath that tight/loose top he was wearing. *swoons*





Also, talked a bit more to Tom...(Sophie's stalkerish man candy who she keeps denying that she loves). Didn't realise how FUNNY he was! That guy actually cracks me up. I would LOVE it if he and Sophie actually got it together. They would be SO cute AND hilarious. brilliant stuffs.





Really really worried about maths on Monday. I'm facked. 21/70 just ISN'T going to wash with the examiners. ahhhhhhhhh. HELP. However, i say this... and SHOULD be revising, but i just cant find the will power after a long day out in London town. TWAS pretty draining...but DAMN it was good :)



Also...i think I'm slightly in love...:



Jared Followill. ♥
If god inhabited an American..it's him.

Anyway...I'm awff to waste my life away and fail my maths exam. wish me luck you beautiful people

xxx

My pug.

When I'm older, I'm getting a pug and calling it Hitler.

He will be my one and only companion and we shall be best friends forever.

Oh how I love black humour.

x

Contemplative.

Surprised myself today. Have done 3 exams so far and haven't actually committed suicide. Am feeling quite happy about my performance and revision is going mildly well. Surprising? Very.

Had such a good day today :) revision in non-uniform in the revision house. Very relaxing indeed. Managed H.E. and Chemistry revision. sound. Just now, had lunch, (mushroom soup was TO DIE FOR), computeredededed for the rest of the time, collected Chem paper (3 marks off a C! not baad), went back to the revision house and watched the end of an episode of 'The Inbetweeners', visited the H.E. rooms to beg my teacher to let me bake my mate a cake for her birthday thing on Saturday (permission granted!) and now I am here...mainly to print off chemistry papers that will in no way help me...but may shed some light on this incomprehensible subject. Meant to be at a History revision clinic now, but really there is no point in going as i can just collect the sheets at the end and write up notes from someone else. Doing IS learning, children...remember that.

So all in all, not a bad day. Later i have practise in the music dep. and then might go and do some exercise/ shop for ingredients for Holly's Birthday cake. Exercise SHOULD take priority, seeing as I'm starting to really feel the stairs on my way to registration, however...the enjoyment of another human being does settle closer to my heart..(amongst the vast stores of building fat). I make myself sick.

Anyway...things to look forward to (MUST.KEEP.SPIRITS.HIGH.DURING.EXAMS):

• Holly's birthday thaang in Hyde Park on Saturday
• English revision (I haven't revised a subject I actually enjoy in a LONG time. I'm not insane..ish)
• Finishing exams by Wednesday next week before Half Term strikes and I can FINALLY earn some money to buy music and clothes with *nearly bursts from excitement*
• Gossip Girl and Waterloo Road
• SLEEP. and being able to read my book.

Although these things may seem trivial and silly to be getting excited about, they are those things which are currently keep me alive. so DO NOT feel sorry for me and my lack of a social life. Not that you would anyway... I should be feeling sorry for you, reading my blog. Poor poor poor bored person on the Internet- what are you DOING with your life??

:D love you all really.

Speak soon lovelies

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Exams

WHY?

I cannot believe I'm nearly having to take exams. Next week is my first one- shitting myself...(and by next week, that terminology will no longer be figurative). Why this country continues to scare its young inhabitants to death with shitty exams, i have no idea.

I feel for you all.

Ive decided- if I don't have any hope in hell of getting a boyfriend in...hmm...say 3 years, then i will become a call girl. Its decided. Full on...decision made. I'm convinced Ill make a good call girl- friends come to me for sex advice (a friend, Wight, came to me yesterday and demanded I helped her with phone sex conversations with her 21-yr-old boyf. Have to say...I was slightly honoured), I dedicate practically all my spare time to thinking about sex...writing sex books, reading sex books and watching pornography. Oooh- new idea just occurred. Erotic photographer? get to look at naked people all day.. AND get to be creative?

hmm...might just try and make it as an erotic author instead. Mills & Boon would be delighted to have me :) (so a good friend told me on Sunday night)

In the mean time I will continue with my degree and plan wtf I'm going to do with my life. Travelling sounds good- but my one problem on THAT behalf is.... money. I am hoping to solve this problem this summer by applying to local Horse event back home and some part-time as a waitress. It wouldn't be much, but it would be something to put towards my travelling/ language learning courses/ uni degree.

If not...then as I said- i could just become a call girl. End of.

Idolising people atm. I'm longing for some form of life. As at the moment, all it consists of is 'revision' (aka skiving, chatting and watching films) and thinking about sex. But then again...when is that ever different from any other moment of my free time?

Anyway, i must go to practice. France tour is coming up and I'm missing enough rehearsals as it is what with exams.

Love to you all,

Alex
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx